I telecommuted yesterday and to deal with the lack of interesting work, I snacked all day. Healthy stuff, but still unneeded calories.
I recently read Women, Food and Godby Geneen Roth. One of the main things I got out of the book is that we'll make weight the problem to distract us from what's really wrong or missing in our life and/or avoid our real feelings. This made so much since to me because since I was about 15 I've been battling 10 unwanted pounds. Sometimes those pounds were real sometimes imagined. Now that I am older, it's 20 pounds. All this time I wondered why an intelligent, somewhat together person could not rid herself of those 10 pounds. It's become clear that I use those few pounds to distract me from other issues. The issue or issues have changed over the years but the distraction has stayed the same.
I learning to stay plugged in because it's easy to go on auto-pilot and fall into old behaviors. I am also trying to focus on the plus side of my "issues". I work for a great company with great people. Work just tends to be a little slow. My work lacks challenge and I crave learning something new. But when I leave for the day my work is done and I am free to turn my attention to other things. So really what's so bad about that? Maybe all my issues are really just a case of either the glass is half full or half empty. My choice to decide. And maybe I really don't need this weight to distract me anymore.
Confession: Four years or French in high school and a couple years in college and I can't string a sentence together. If you don't use it, you lose it. In the interest of full disclosure, I was never really an accomplished speaker of the French language. I blame it on my french partner through out high school. I had a huge crush on him. You'd think I would of worked over time on pronunciation. Alas non, I worked on figuring out ways not to speak. So I could really only read and write but that was long ago. I even went to France and spoke almost zero French while there. I figured out that as along as I could ask for water, the bathroom, and where to pay for my purchases I was set.
After I moved to Atlanta, I thought it might be nice to learn Spanish and I took an continuing ed class but soon lost interest. While it certainly would be helpful in this day and age, Spanish just doesn't appeal to me. Lolly is learning it and loves it though.
So recently, I am tinkering with Italian. I would love to learn because it's a dream of mine to live in Italy for a few months. It's really the only thing I have on what you'd consider a "bucket list". What I've found is that while I have no real French skills, I have just enough pronunciation memory to keep tripping up on Italian pronunciation. Plus I haven't really overcome my fear of sounding like a dork.
So I am thinking about going back to my roots and taking a French continuing ed class to reacquaint myself with enough French to butcher my way through a conversation. I am thinking I may know and remember more than I expect once I get into it.
I always thought it would be cool to be able to speak several languages. In the spirit of it's never too late, I think I just might add that to my bucket list.
It's National Lilly Day. I know there are a lot of Lilly lovers out there. I am not really one of them. Maybe because I am mostly a solid wearing girl or that fact that growing up in Northern Indiana I'd never seen any Lilly.
Either way, it's a bit lost on me. Unless perhaps I lived at the beach or needed a cute duvet or couch cover for a condo.
What about you, are you a lover? hater? indifferent?
I've made an executive decision not to weigh myself this week. Still doing good. Trying to move to healthy eating for life rather than crash diet for reunion mentality. Paying more attention to the converstaion going on in my head about food, weight loss, etc. Let me tell, there's some crazy talk going on in there. photo credit
I ordered these this morning. A little taller than I am probably use too. But, I have a hard time passing up a pair of sling backs. Navy dress, navy shoes. Too matchy matchy?
I hope I like them on and they work out because I just received this
email and Zappos is my new best friend. I guess I'll know tomorrow if the shoes are a keeper. "Whoa, Nellie!" How fun are they? The next time Mister and I go to Vegas, he can hit the casinos but I am going hit the Zappos headquarters. As an employee of Corporate America, Zappos is a little like the Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz to me.
Typically I am a toucher and feeler and like to try things on but my new friendship with Zappos may be changing the way I shop all together...
that's my thinking. I've been eating clean for a week and feel good. The cravings are gone. Don't get me wrong. The idea of a cake doughnut with chocolate icing and tons of sprinkles like you get at the QuikTrip still sounds pretty yummy but I am not plagued with thoughts of sugar and candy anymore. So all is going well.
Then I weigh myself this morning. Down 2 lbs. That's good right? But somehow I am disappointed because there's no noticeable difference.Then I have to remind myself that it's only been a week. It's only 2lbs. What do I want? Do I think one good week is going to undo the 20lbs of cakes and cookies? Well yes, yes I do. I watch too much tv, too much Biggest Loser, read to many before and after weight loss articles. It's been one week. How ridiculous am I!
If it was quick and easy everyone would thin right? Slow and steady wins the race right?
While looking for shoes for my reunion dress I stumbled upon this dress here. Mister likes it better than my original choice and I'm told it looks more like me.
Only problem is, it hurt my feelings the first time I tried it on. Hurt, like in I wouldn't been seen in public in a dress this tight. But surely with all this clean eating I am doing, it should fit like a glove in no time at all. (fingers crossed and mouth shut) Either that or my co-workers suggest Spanx as a back up plan.
I never thought I'd say I love my kitchen scale but right now it can't do any wrong. Oh sure, I"ll soon tire of weighing and measuring everything I eat. I am realistic. And it really is the fruits and veggies that should get the credit. But, I am on healthy food high or the lack of sugar and diet pop is making me crazy...
I am still working on uncovering why it's so hard for me to lose this stinkin 20 lbs that needs to go away. The scale has yet to budge. But I've also yet to do any real work to changing things. If I am honest really honest, I love to read about how other people are doing it but leave myself completely unaccountable for my choices.
But I read this yesterday at Jack Sh*t, Gettin Fit and it stayed with me all day long. I filled the kitchen with fruits, vegetables and assorted good foods. I think my food budget just increased but it will be worth it to eat healthy.
I ate absolutely no crap and drank no diet pop yesterday and it was great. I feel like crap today though. I think my body is rebelling but that's alright I am going to wait it out. It's me vs my sugar addiction (again). And this time I feel like kicking some butt...
Hours wasted trying to get rid of a virus that I am attributing to Mister and his visit to either his wrestling or gambling sites. Lolly and I can get to the internet through our user accounts but Mister can't. Looks like we may need to call in help.
Plan B - I am getting my own laptop and leaving him to fend for himself.